No Finer Heart

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 On the anniversary of one of our family's greatest losses, I wanted to continue to share my original blog post from 2007. However, I wanted people to see and hear why this was so important to me. I made reference to the Sister Hazel song Firefly but I believe that until you actually hear this beautiful song, while looking at the faces of these two amazing women, you cannot fully appreciate the emotion it evokes.


I've found myself on multiple occassions recently having conversations with my grandmother. I don't know why now, after all these years but I've felt her presence with me more lately. I know she's watching out for me as much now as the day I was born. My grandmother's mind was taken from us well before her physical body left us and that was very hard for me. I did not go to visit her during her final years because I had this one perfect memory with her that I didn't want to be replaced by the shell what became my grandmother. I regret not being with her and telling her goodbye during her final hours but for me personally, it was the right decision. When I think of her now and have those long conversions with her spirit, I can only see the smile and ever present twinkle in her eye. That is my perfect memory.

Today, four years ago, our Dee was suddenly and tragically taken from us. Our family has never fully recovered from that and we continue to struggle with the loss of her smile and complete silliness. It has been four long years of wondering what happened on that dark, lonely stretch of country road, what exactly transpired to put her in the path of that oncoming car. We may never know but we won't give up the fight. We've dealt with no arrests, then finally an arrest  but that has been wrought with unending frustrations of delayed hearings and trial dates. My family, Dee's mother, brother, grandparents, cousins, all of us, we need closure. Please pray that we get that soon so that our healing can truly begin. My heart aches so much for my family as they try and cope with missing Dee so much.

Here is the original post from August, 2007 that came from my heart as I dealt with the  recent loss of Dee and then my grandmother.

Last October, just days before the L4L event in Clearwater, my 20 year old cousin, Dee, was killed in a terrible accident. She was struck by a car on a desolate country road in the middle of the night. My family is still reeling from this tragedy, not only for the loss we endured but also because we don’t yet know what truly happened. It is being investigated as a potential homicide. We are not allowed to know the details of the investigation due to the fact that the police are still awaiting the autopsy results. (YES…since October of last year…still waiting!) I’m from a small, very close-knit family and this loss has devastated us in many ways. I truly have no idea how her mom and brother go on each day without her. She was a beautiful girl who loved her family and loved life like you can’t imagine. Because of someone else’s actions, she never got a chance to experience all the wonders this world has to offer.

Now, fast forward 10 months. Days before leaving Tampa for Boston to attend OSD and the L4L Gala, I get another one of those dreaded calls from home. This time, it’s about my grandmother. She has been in a nursing home for years with Alzheimer’s but physically, still very healthy. She became very ill last week and had to be sent to the hospital where they determined that she had a blockage in her intestines, most likely caused by a tumor. Colon cancer was the probable diagnosis. The prognosis was bad. She was sent back to the nursing home to spend her last days. She gave up the fight this past Saturday afternoon, surrounded by her children and their children and their children. I, however, was unable to make the trip back to Alabama to be with her before she passed away.

I can’t help but think of the song Firefly. I’m hoping to hear the song this Sunday night in Boston at the Gala and I’ve made that special request. I want to honor the memory of two amazing women. One (in true Sylvia fashion) graced this earth for 31,031 days and probably touched as many hearts along the way. The other was cut short after only a quarter of that time, 7,605 days, but she had the potential to amaze people with her unique spirit. A family friend described my grandmother by saying “I will always remember her as a beautiful woman with a genuine smile that started in her heart and showed in the sparkles in her eyes.” That is a truly accurate description of both of these women. I know one thing for sure…”No finer heart could ever beat for you”.

My small family lost it’s matriarch and it’s baby girl in less than a year’s time. Please take a few minutes to hug your granny or your mom or your cousin today. Stop and count your blessings and be thankful for each minute of each day that you have those special people in your life. I would love just one more day with my Granny and I can only imagine how much Dee’s mom and brother wish for the same with her.